Write Your Own LOTR - TTT - Book IV

[Primula]

These posts were split off from the original "all in one" thread to set Book IV (the journey to Mordor) into its own thread. There are earlier posts relating to these that are stirred into the general mix - they may be read in the first 6 pages of Book III.

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Frodo tromped along the ridges as they left the River far behind, gazing eastward.

"Dang, there's a lot of rocks around here. At least it looks like a very pleasant bit of waterfront over that way, beyond it. Maybe we can just rent a boat and paddle over that part..."

He clambered down a hunk of rock, waited for Sam to follow and walked and walked and climbed and walked some more. A storm was blowing in, and the ground was falling away pretty steeply. He peered over the edge of one. "Oh drat it. Sam, take a look at this cliff. How the heck are we supposed to get down this one? Nevermind, maybe I'll just fling myself off into space and let you know when I land..."

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

Sam choked, and his eyes bulged.

"You'll do what, sir?! Are you out of your ever lovin' mind? Beggin' your pardon, sir! But that's a bit careless on your part, don't you think? With your luck, or lack of it, so to speak, you're the kind that oughtn't go skydiving and the like, if you take my meaning."

Sam peered dubiously over the edge, then grumbled, "If we had that old nasty Gollum about we could fling him over the edge and see what's what."

[Primula]

"Oooh, I like that idea. Maybe that's what Gandalf meant when he said Gollum still had some part to play. BUT - seeing as he thankfully hasn't found us at this point, I guess we'll just have to wing it."

He poked around the edges looking for a hold and considered his hands and feet. "You don't happen to have anything really sticky that we could use, do you? I think I already ate all those toffees Gandalf gave me." The wind began to rise.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

Sam scratched his nose and gave the cliff edge a considering look-see.

"Well, there is that pink stuff Haldir slipped me before leaving the Golden Wood... he called it... what did he call it? Bub... bubble... bubble yum? He was saying somethin' about it making bubbles... though chewing is involved somehow... it's right sticky it is. I've tried keepin' it wrapped in lemba leaf wrappings, it might help..."

Sam's voice petered out at Frodo's dubious expression.

[Primula]

"Bubbayum? I wonder what derivation of Elvish that one came from...? Well, I suppose we don't have many other choices, do we? Let's try it."

He peered at the pink mass that inhabited the leaf Sam obligingly opened up for him and poked at it with a finger, wondering if Sam was joshing him about chewing it. Well, Sam wasn't exactly Pippin - if it had been his cousin he would have never put it in his mouth. As it was, he hesitated good and long before gingerly pulling a hunk from it and popping it in his mouth to chew.

"Hmmm....mmm...mmm... it has a nice wholesome Elvish taste to it, doesn't it? Nice and sticky too."

[Primula]

Frodo chewed and chewed and chewed. He experimentally blew some bubbles that snapped, then after longer experimentation slowly and carefully blew one big, huge one. Triumphant at this accomplishment, he turned towards Sam, pointing at it before he realized that the rising wind was now lifiting him off the ground.

Wide-eyed and biting into the end of his bubble with all his strength, Frodo was swept off the edge of the cliff and descended over the dark edge like a sinking pink jellyfish with a struggling hobbit in its tentacles.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

"Mfftr Frrdmf!" Sam pulled out his gum and attached it to the end of the rope he'd forgotten he was carrying, until the last possible moment.

"Frodo! Mr. Frodo, sir! Grab the rope, sir!" He threw it and missed.

With lightening speed, borne in panic, he gathered it up and threw once more.

"Grab it, dagnabit! Beggin' your pardon, sir!"

[Primula]

Frodo flailed around in panic for anything solid. He felt a whoosh as a rope flashed past him, it's small breeze nudging his bubble to one side so he just barely managed to reach the side of the cliff. His fingers dragged down over its surface and found a purchase just as the rope returned, smacking straight onto his bubble, which promptly popped all over his face.

He could faintly hear Sam calling out to him somewhere up above.

"All right! All right! I'm here!" he hollered back, "But I can't see!"

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

Can't see?

"Oh, no!" wailed Sam. "I've blinded my master! Master Frodo! Master Frodo! Terrible sorry I am! Can ya' ever forgive me? No! No! Flay me and boil me in oil for doin' such a thing. I never meant to blind ya.' My old Gaffer'll tan my hide for sure, if I ever see him again, o'course. Always telling me, he was, not to be throwing things around or I'd poke someone's eye out, and now I've gone and done it! Woe is me! If Mr. Gandalf were alive, sure and certain he'd turn me into somethin' unnatural or more likely somethin' far worse! What to do? What to do? The Quest is lost, and it's all my fault!"

Sam plopped down on the edge of the cliff and sobbed.

[Primula]

"What are you babbling and blubbering about up there?" Frodo yelled over the sound of the approaching thunder. The effort of yelling this loud expended his breath and with his next inhalation some of the magical bubbayum went up his nose.

He sneezed, whipping forward to adhere his face to the cliff.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

Sam's eyes flew open wide, and he began to tremble and mumble to himself.

"Oh, no. Oh, no! Woe is me!! I thought I heard my master's voice. He's haunting me!! Master Frodo, I'm sorry!"

Then he heard a familiar snort from below. Visions of what that meant rushed through his mind.

"Eewwwww!"

[Primula]

Frodo hung from the cliff by his face, the pink gum completely adhering him to the grey rocks before his eyes. His limbs flailed about for anything at all that might help and to his great relief, one of his hands found the end of the rope.

He grabbed it and hung on for all he was worth (which at that point was somewhere between ten dollars and a buck-fifty).

"Pul-mup Pham!" he said in a muffled voice, considering he was at this point having to also involuntarily kiss a rock.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

"What was that Mr. Frodo?! Talk more clearly, if you please! I can't understand a word you're sayin'! Truth be told, it sounds like... it sounds like... oh! for pete's sake, did one of them lasses find you even here?! Tell the lass to give it a rest and get herself back to the Shire where she belongs! Unless it's Rosie, of course; that bein' the case, I'm goin' to have some mighty unpleasant words with her if she's down there with you instead of up here with me! So quit that kissin' and tell me what I'm supposed to do what with me up here and you down there!!"

[Primula]

Frodo gripped the rope with one hand and with the other got all the leverage he could to pry his face up from the cliff, an effort that only had limited success, making him boing back and forth in vertical push-ups. He gasped out with each push: "PULL.......ME.......UP......!" before giving out and going back to hanging on the cliff like a bug on a windshield.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

"Oh!" Sam blinked, and took a moment to process, then muttered to no one in particular, "Bossy little fellow, ain't he?"

Then he gave a great pulling heave on the rope, and...


fell backward with a *thump*


"Ouch. Mr. Frodo, are ya' certain you're wantin' to come back up. I mean, couldn't you, maybe, find your way down?"