Punny...

[yaralindi]

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ...(Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good)...

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

[yaralindi]

These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

[Ladyhawk Baggins]

[Frodo Baggins]

Ha! Those are good!

[yaralindi]

I know, I know, but puns have just become a hobbit.

[DoctorGamgee]

Old as Moses' toes, and twice as corny. Lol!

[yaralindi]

It could've been worse, Doc. I was in a Middle Earth arcade the other night and all the machines took were tolkiens.

[DoctorGamgee]

Apparently, Theoden had let his horse go while under the influence of Wormtongue. Wrens had nested in the mane of his steed, and though they were shooed away every evening, the birds returned every morning.

Gandalf saw this and told the stable boy to brush some brewer's yeast into the mane, as that would solve the problem. He tried it, and it worked. When asked why it worked, Gandalf replied that it was a wizard's adage:

Yeast is yeast, and Nest is Nest, and never the mane shall tweet.

[yaralindi]

Love it! I'll have to tell my horse-loving friends to buy yeast since if it keeps the bird's nests out it would have to stop the hair from turning into rat's nests.

[daughter_of_kings]

I sat up all night wondering where the Sun went... then it dawned on me.

[yaralindi]

Yeah DoK, I went to the beach just after that sun dawned and a Smeagull stole my sandwich.

[daughter_of_kings]

Gee, Yar, I hope you don't make a hobbit out of doing that.