Open letter to Primula and the Fellowship - my resignation

[daughter_of_kings]

Dear Fellowship,

I am resigning as admin, and I have just sent my resignation letter to Prim. I am posting it here as an open letter to the Fellowship, so that you will all know what is going on, and so that I can offer my apologies to all of you.

Dear Prim,

When we had our last conversation - 2 months ago - you said I should make an executive decision. Well, I've done so; what an executive ought to do when they've failed as badly as I have: I'm tendering my resignation as admin. I should have done it a year ago, when I first realized that the technical issues had gone beyond my abilities to fix. Instead, I've clung to the idea that I was the one who got us into the mess, so it was my responsibility to clean up. I have tried to enlist help, first from friends with experience, and then from professional webmasters, but I have been turned down time and again.

In the meantime, my real life took a turn. Due to funding issues with my main lab, my duties have been split between 2 labs that are each paying me half-time, but both jobs are really full-time jobs, so I've been working very long hours to give both jobs the attention they require. That started last year, about the same time that everything went south with the boards. Then recently, an opportunity dropped in my lap to expand and develop a new skill set that will make me more marketable if my funding goes away entirely and I end up job hunting. Although the timing couldn't have been worse, and it's not even a paying gig, I couldn't turn down the opportunity. So right now I'm working 3 jobs for 1 paycheck. And I love it, but it leaves me no time or energy for anything else, and it won't, unless and until the funding situation improves.

And so I have come to realize that it is utterly unfair of me to keep our LOTR Fellowship dangling on the line, waiting for me to do something that I just can't do. I am so very, very sorry that it took me this long to do what I should have done long ago. I'm sorry that I let our home degrade as far as it has. I'm sorry that my stubbornness kept me from seeing that the right thing was not to insist on fixing it myself. I have let everyone down, including myself. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. But I think it's best for all of us that I don't let this go on any longer. So I'm stepping down, and away.

I'm sure there is someone more qualified to take my place. Tinidril seems to have had some very good ideas, and there may be others. I wish you well with the boards, and I wish the best for you and everyone in the Fellowship. I will think of you all and pray for you as often as I can.

With love and regret,

DOK/Kelli

I wish you all the very best. Thank you all for all the lovely times I've had being a part of the Fellowship. Many blessings on all of you.

[Primula]

Aw, dearheart - you're taking far too much of the burden than you ever needed to. To every thing there is a season, and the seasons for our boards as they were has really gone far into autumn. I was thinking it likely there would need to be a new incarnation of them before long no matter what we did. You have gone above and beyond, I am sorry that your life has become such a stressful time and completely understand the need to hand the reins to others, having been in that very place myself. Bless you and your family that you were willing to serve in your season, you remain amazing people to me - the world could use more like you, it would be a finer place.

I note that you posted this to the boards as well, you are a courageous and wise woman, thank you for honoring the 'open' community that has always been the goal. I'll follow your lead and post my reply there as well. Blessings and comfort to you always.

[AnnaEstel]

You did so much more here during your time, DoK, than others could have. Because you were willing to step up in the first place when needed, we are still here at all! We might have faded so much sooner if not for your efforts. You remain deeply appreciated, I hope you know that. And Prim is right, it is a brave and difficult thing to have to let go of something you care about deeply and face it when it has become too much. But you've got to do what you need to in the RW, or you wouldn't be able to even visit here! Take the time and do for you now, and trust that in some form, some way, we will be around.

[Strange Elf]

Dearest Daughter of Kings, you have done a wonderful job and we appreciate you very much.

RW is, well, real, and has to be taken care of. It sounds like you have more than enough on your plate right now.

Just don't disappear altogether. Wherever our little community ends up, I hope you will be there with us.

I wish you good luck in following your heart and learning something new. I also hope that soon you will have a little bit more time and less stress.

[halavana]

((((DoK))))

[Tari]

While I'm sorry to see you go, I must tell you that I think you did an excellent job. Don't stress yourself out to the point of exhaustion.

Thank you so much for all you have done.

[Linaewen]

Thank you so much for all you did and tried to do as our dear admin, ((((((DoK)))))). It truly was well done, so try not to blame yourself for anything that didn't go the way you thought it should. You are loved and appreciated! Please join us in in our new place as you are able, we definitely will be less of a family if you are not there.

[tinidril]

Dear DoK, I pray so many blessings upon your head that they roll off and splash blessings on to everyone you meet! Thank you for being there as long as you could. Keep at least a toe in the door so that you always know you can step in to visit whenever you want

[AnnaEstel]

Posting on behalf of Ashlyn:

DoK, she says that wherever we go you need to come with us and pop in every now and then, and if you don't, she knows where you live!;)

[DoctorGamgee]

(((DoK))),

You have been a force for good. This season has been difficult for many of us. I have been gone due to RW problems of my own. I understand. As many of my Facebook friends have probably surmised, the Mrs and I have divorced, so most of my last six months have been focused on making sure G-minor and the Bean are being taken care of. They are doing well under the circumstances, and mom and dad are adopting a supportive environment for them. Not exactly what was planned, but avoiding the pitfalls of animosity and acrimony has left us in a good place with one another. Our professional fields are intertwined, so we attend several things separately, and each other's events supportively.

So please forgive me if I have been less present than you needed. It was not out of disdain, rather, I knew we were in good hands.

Much love. To you and your family in this trying time.

Dr.G

[Wanderer]

DoK,

You are brave and you are valiant. I know my reply comes a year and a half too late, but I hope you will see us and pop in when you can.

Much Love,
Wanderer