I am sorry for the crossover! I just need more people to review this!
Characters:
The Doctor
Pippin (comic relief)
Evil orange tuba-playing alien
people who fall asleep
Scene 1 Ext. Middle-earth, ALIEN is playing tuba
A- And after I rule the universe, I shall have a snack! But first-
(ALIEN points tuba at pedestrians one by one and they fall asleep dramatically)
A- MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(runs off stage)
(PIPPIN runs onstage)
P- Hey, Merry, Sam! Do you want to. . . .what happened here?
(DOCTOR comes onstage)
D- Hello, I'm the Doctor. What is this place?
P- Um. . . Middle-earth.
D- Oh! This place does have great food.
P- Do you know why my friends are on the ground? Are they. . . dead?
D- No, my dear boy, they're just sleeping. But why they're all on the ground? That is a very good question.
P- Is there anything we can do to help them?
D- Yes. We have to figure out who made them fall asleep and why.
P- How do we do that?
D- I have to go to other planets and see if they have suffered the same incident.
P- Oh! Can I come?
D- I don't know you. . . .
P- I'm Pippin. Pippin Took.
D- Okay, Pippin. Let's go to Planet Zorg! To the TARDIS!
P- Whats that?
D- It's my spaceship. Actually, an organic box that was grown organically but. . .
P- Okay then. Let's go!
(DOCTOR and PIPPIN run off stage)
Scene 2 Int. Hotel on Planet Zorg, PIPPIN and DOCTOR walk onstage, sit down on chairs
D- This is the Planet Zorg Hotel. Very nice.
P-So, Doctor, what's your job?
D- Oh, old stuff. Check out how planets are doing, defeat some aliens, make sure the universe is happy. And run into some Ood.
P- What are the Ood?
D- Aw, they're just Ood.
(Tuba noise sounds and PIPPIN runs to doorway
P- Doctor, why are all the people asleep?
D- Pippin, it's twelve o'clock at night. Why wouldn't they be asleep?
P- Yeah but, the people are all asleep outside. Just. . .on the ground. Just like on Middle-earth.
(DOCTOR jumps out of chair and runs to doorway)
D- Deja Vu! I saw something like this on Planet Zorg!
P- Um, Doctor, we are on Planet Zorg.
D- Right you are, Pippin. Now C'mon, we have a case to solve.
P- What case?
D- We have to figure out why they're all asleep on the ground!
P- Oh yeah.
D- Look for clues.
(DOCTOR and PIPPIN go out side of Hotel, DOCTOR and PIPPIN examine the ground)
D- There are some footprints around here. . .
P- Oh! Here's some orange goo! Do you think someone left it here?
D- You may be right, Pip. And that person who left the goo could be. .
P- The person who made all the people go to sleep!
D- Exactly! C'mon, back to the TARDIS.
P- Your spaceship?
D- Yeah. I have a feeling that the culprit isn't here anymore. . . .
(DOCTOR and PIPPIN run off stage, then TARDIS goes onstage and DOCTOR and PIPPIN walk out onto stage)
Scene 3 Ext. Planet Trachea
D- Here we are.
P- Where is 'here'?
D- Planet Trachea, of course. The planet where all the orange goo-filled aliens live.
P- Ew. . .they're filled with goo?
D- Yup.
P- That's just nasty.
D- Well. . . what would you expect of orange aliens?
P- I dunno. I've never met one.
D- You're about to meet the strangest one, Pippin.
(ALIEN walks onto stage)
A- Oh, hello! Were you expecting me?
P-(turns to DOCTOR) How did you know-
D-(shrugs) Just a hunch.
P-(turns to ALIEN) Are you the one who's been making all the people on Planet Zorg go to sleep?
A-(proudly) Yes, I am. And not just there. I have visited all the planets in the universe!
P- Well, we have to stop you from taking over the universe!
D- Pippin, shush! Don't tell him our plan!
A- Too late. I knew sooner or later the Space Police were going to come along and find me.
P- We're not the-
D- Shush!!
A- Well, no matter! I don't care who you are! I have the ultimate weapon to stop you all!
(ALIEN pulls out tuba)
P- That's . . . . . . . . .a tuba.
A- I know it is, you fool! But this is not just an ordinary tuba. It is the tuba that I have been taking over the universe with!
P- How can you take over the universe with a tuba?
A-(smugly) Like this.
( ALIEN points tuba toward PIPPIN and he falls to ground but not before saying,)
P- Oh, darn.
D- That is one amazing tuba.
A- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you have no pesky sidekick to deal with!
D- I rather liked my sidekick, thank you very much. And besides, who'll provide all the humor?
A- No one will! This will be a very bad play and the writer will receive humiliation! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
D- Do you always laugh like that?
A- Only when I'm taking over the universe. Other times I laugh like this: heeheeheeheehee.
D- O-kay.
(ALIEN points tuba toward DOCTOR and he falls asleep)
A- Now no one will know my plans! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(ALIEN runs off stage)
Scene 4 Int. Cages on Planet Trachea, DOCTOR in one cage, PIPPIN in other, both are centre stage
(PIPPIN comes awake in one cage)
P- (rubs head) My head hurts. (looks around) Doctor? Doctor, where are you?
(DOCTOR comes awake in other cage)
D- (tiredly) In here, Pippin.
P- It seems that we are stuck. In cages.
D- Yes, Pippin.
P- So how are going to get out?
D- Dunno.
P- Um. . . . .So. . . . . .
D- Quiet! I hear someone! Pretend you're asleep!
(DOCTOR and PIPPIN pretend to be asleep, ALIEN comes onto stage muttering to himself)
A- I have made all the inhabitants of the entire universe asleep forever! Now no one will stop me! But then again, there are the Doctor and his sidekick. . .
(ALIEN bends down to look in cages, PIPPIN snores loudly)
A- Good, they are asleep. And they will be forever sleeping, unless. . .
(ALIEN looks around)
A- Unless someone breaks my tuba in half! Then, I will be reduced to a giant, fiery eye-
(While ALIEN is saying this, DOCTOR and PIPPIN quietly unlock their cages and get out of them)
P- You've got the wrong story, pal.
D- (turns to ALIEN) Give us the tuba!
A- It's mine. My own. My precious tuba.
P- Okay, can you just stop it with the Rings references? We have a universe to save.
A- Fine!
D- Just give us the tuba and-
P- What will really happen to you if your tuba is destroyed?
A- I will run off stage and my plans will be gone forever.
P- Cool!
D- Just give us the tuba and everything will be fine.
A- My plans for universe domination will be destroyed!
D- Tough luck. (extends hand toward alien) Hand over the tuba.
(ALIEN throws tuba on the stage and runs off)
A- (from off stage) There you go! Hope you're happy!
P- That was easy.
D- (sighs) If only we had an Easy button.
P- Now. . . . what do we do with the tuba?
D- The evil, universe- taking-over tuba?
P- Yeah.
D- Um. . . .we make it into something that will make all the people awake.
P- Really?
D- Yeah. At least, that's what the script says.
P- How do we do that?
D- I have an idea. . . .
(DOCTOR takes tuba from floor and breaks it in half)
D- Pippin, can you hand me some dirt?
P- Dirt? What for?
D- To put in the tuba.
P- Um. . . okay.
(PIPPIN hands the DOCTOR some dirt and he puts it into one side of the tuba)
P- Now what?
D- I blow into the tuba.
(DOCTOR blows into tuba and dirt sprays all over stage)
P- And what was that supposed to do?
D- Hopefully, the sound was loud enough to wake all the people everywhere.
P- But what was the dirt for?
D- I was just being funny, Pippin. Now, let's get you back home to Middle-earth. To the TARDIS!
(DOCTOR runs off stage)
P- To the TARDIS! Aw, that was a little late, wasn't it.
(PIPPIN runs off stage)
Scene 5 Ext. Middle-earth, all the people are awake and walking around
(DOCTOR and PIPPIN walk on stage)
D- Here you go, Pip. Home sweet home.
P- Yeah, for me. But where do you live, Doctor?
D- Oh, erm, some place. . .in the middle of somewhere.
P- Okay. Well, see you around, Doctor!
D- See you, Pippin. And remember-
P- when there's a case to solve-
D- I'll need you-
P- and you'll need me for the comic relief. Bye, Doctor!
D- Bye, Pippin!
(DOCTOR walks off stage)
(PIPPIN looks at his watch)
P- Wow! I can't believe we saved the world in less than an hour!
THE END
A Doctor Play, a comedy
Moderators: DoctorGamgee, Primula, Rosie, daughter_of_kings, Moderators
A Doctor Play, a comedy
I don't know how I missed this - must have been when I had too much going on!
I keep getting weird mental images of the Master-as-Gollum...with a tuba instead of his TCE or other nefarious devices.
I keep getting weird mental images of the Master-as-Gollum...with a tuba instead of his TCE or other nefarious devices.